Dear Weezer,
The Red Album proved that you were old and out of touch. The Hootenanny tour proved that you had decent ideas with terrible execution.
Please tell me this is a joke.
Seriously? A Weezer Snuggie? As if that wasn’t bad enough it’s leopard print? And called a Wuggie, of all god forsaken things!
The guys of Weezer have announced a seventh studio album slated for some time in 2009, but I think I’ll pass. After listening to the Red Album, and knowing full well that Cuomo is wearing a backwards bath robe while strumming and howling, I don’t think I can keep my lunch down.
On Green Day, 21st Century Breakdown, and the state of modern punk
Please watch both of these before reading:
“Longview:” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIFndgVoG9w
“Know Your Enemy:” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pvtz8P0AMHg
The new album by Green Day hit shelves this past week. I’ve had it a bit longer, and so I’ve had a bit of time to mull over it, and I’ve had even more time to reflect on what makes this album, the previous album, and Green Day as we now know them something that I can’t respect. Let’s set the stage first.
Green Day, as I see it, has had three distinct phases over their admittedly long life span. First, there was the 39/Smooth and Kerplunk! Green Day, formed in 1987 when Billie Joe was merely 15 years old, that was still testing out the waters. They hadn’t grown, and it was clear, but nonetheless the albums exist and there’s a mean cover of “My Generation” on Kerplunk!. Shortly after Kerplunk!, in the midst of Nirvana Madness, they did something amazing; they created a brand of punk that was modern and fun, but still paid homage to those who came before them. Enter Dookie through Nimrod Green Day. This was the Green Day I grew up with.
This Green Day was something that was raw, relatable and was clearly a group of talented guys who were doing exactly what punk was supposed to do: be rough and ragged, sleazy and chunky, smart and clever. Songs like “Longview,” “Basket Case,” and “Welcome to Paradise” were both relatable (boredom, paranoia/angst, and going out on one’s own for the first time, respectively) and smart (TV dumbing us all down, insecurity and mental issues, and how much of a b*tch getting thrown out is). The music was catchy, it was fun, and it was clear that these guys were just having a blast–the breakdowns that weren’t gratuitous, but skillful in the way that only a truly tight group of dudes can have (listen to “Chump” followed by “Longview” on Dookie. The transition is nearly flawless). They were everything we wanted to be, but they didn’t feel like they were above us; in the iconic “Longview” video (above), Billie Joe refused to wear any make-up, and so every one of his pimples showed through, and it just made it more personal.
Then, in 1997 they put out Nimrod, which mostly followed the same vibe. The album was great, but there was something strange happening. Track 17 kept showing up at high school graduations, middle school dances, and anywhere else people were being cute and/or nostalgic. That was when the money truck pulled up to Billie Joe’s house and said, “how do you do.” The band had been pretty successful, but this was new to Green Day; no longer were they a treat for punk fans and rockers; everybody loved Green Day now, and suddenly the spotlight was turned on Billie Joe, and so he started putting on make-up. The band began changing little by little every album, and here we stand.
Now, I realize I have so far only just given you a Green Day history lesson, but it’s important to understanding where I stand on this album, because now I need you to see the third Green Day, the Green Day that has bloomed most prominently on 2004’s American Idiot and continues in 2009’s 21st Century Breakdown. The dichotomy between music videos is really a good way to visualize this “third” Green Day (both above). Watch the video for the lead single, “Know Your Enemy.” What’s the first thing that we see? The band is on pedestals. There are lights and sounds and effects coming out of every nook and cranny, and the video culminates in a massive, tacky, firey plume behind the group. Tre Cool has more drums than he can handle. Billie Joe is barely visible under all his mascara. Compare this to the video whose most intense effect was a fish-eye lens as Tre Cool was stuffed in a corner with a pretty standard kit. The over-the-top, grandiose attitude this third Green Day is what makes it so irritatingly different.
For those who don’t want to read any further, I will give this album 3 stars out of five and say that if you liked American Idiot, you’ll love 21st Century Breakdown. I don’t really want to support this album, but I will tell you frankly that there is worse music out there to listen to, so I can’t bash it too much.
That said, I have to tell you why I won’t support this album. Some have called this album “Green Day at its finest” and “their best yet.” I think I’ve made it clear that I don’t agree as a whole, but I will say that if you only consider everything post-Nimrod, it is a true statement that this is their best yet; comparatively, this album returns to a lot of the instrumental motifs that American Idiot ignored, although they are far too overwrought for my taste. If American Idiot is your vantage point, then, yes, Green Day has come a long way. If you’re looking at their 22 year career as a whole, they certainly aren’t back at square one, but somewhere much less happy. It’s sort of when that cool guy from high school who was super nice but was always throwing the killer parties grows up to be a bald accountant who goes to B-52’s shows in a button-down Hawaiian shirt in an attempt to be cool: they’re doing what the cool kids do, but they just shouldn’t, especially since they were once the masters of cool.
I never really understood concept albums. Ziggy Stardust never really appealed to me as a story, and I never could sit through the entirety of The Wall, though I love tracks off both albums. In my mind, to say that your album has some “higher meaning” that we should all aspire to understand is just gross. That said, it is forgivable if the message is good. Let this be a public letter to Green Day: we elected Obama. We understand that Bush sucked. We had eight years of people telling us so. That said, stop being such downers! There isn’t a happy ending to 21st Century Breakdown, there’s no real consolation, which is dumb since we elected Obama as a symbol of hope.
Now as I realize that I’ve only begun to philosophize more and more, I will say one more piece before I wrap this “review” up. What has “modern punk” become? I know I personally think of the Teenage Cool Kids, Titus Andronicus, and The Manikins when I think of new punk, but I ask some of my friends (who will remain nameless) and they respond with Panic at the Disco, Paramore, and–get this–Fall Out Boy. I won’t go on too much, unless I am asked, but I will say that I believe half the reason that these wanna-be-emo bands can get the incredible misnomer of punk is that Green Day has effectively lowered the standards.
There, I said it. Green Day has lowered the standards, while raising the expectations for ballads about things we shouldn’t care about and fireworks that I’m mortified that we do care about. There is very little special about this album, and, though there are some catchy guitar licks, there isn’t anything that makes me come back. The whole thing leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth, and I really would prefer to not hear any more Green Day.
On Auditioning for a “Funk” band
Hey everyone, sorry for the lack of updates. I’m starting to get back into the swing of things, so I’ll review some stuff this weekend.
Anyway, I auditioned for a funk band today.
Here’s the thing: I called them this morning, and they said a) just bring an electric guitar, b) there’s nothing I need to learn before going in.
So I get there, they sign me into West Village A, and they’re talking about the way this band will work. Basically, they want to bring people into the studio to write their part to the song on the fly, then pass it on to the next guy, then meet the next night and rehearse it. The next week, there’d be a new song to work with. That idea is just bound to either a) fail or b) put out the crappiest, most under-written music ever.
So I get up into their room and they bring me an amp. A bass amp. I’m a guitarist. Then they hand me the sheet music. The song is “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrel. This was supposed to be funk. I was thinking Rick James, etc. So they’re trying to get me to figure this song out on the fly, my guitar sounds like mud, and I just am uninterested at this point. So then they put on some other song, and they tell me to make up some other stuff to play over it. I did, and I had a pretty nice riff going, until they said, don’t keep changing chords like that. So I started playing a neat rhythm with that one chord. Then they tell me to just “emphasize the snare.” What? No! If you want something to play one chord every two beats, get yourself a synthesizer!
Anyway, I would just forget about this and pretend it didn’t happen, but one of the roommates in the room is a fellow Chem major. Great.
Done with the Appletastrophe… I hope.
So I just got back from the Apple Store. Let me fill you in on what happened.
So last Thursday, 2/19/2009, I brought my MacBook in to have the palm rest fixed. It’s a little defect, it happens, it’s a pain in the butt, but oh well. I brought it in, they gave me my slip, I went on my merry way. I got a call the next day happily proclaiming that my MacBook was fixed, and that I should come get it. I went for it that very afternoon.
Here’s where it gets weird. The palmrest, keyboard, and mousepad had all been replaced, but the palmrest had been put on incorrectly. It had a gap by the clasp that you could fit a coin into, and the bottomcase (a fancy term I learned over this mess for the bottom of the computer) was cracked. I was worried, because I had no idea what kind of force it would take to crack the bottomcase like that.
Apparently, a lot. Doug, who I assume was a manager of some sort, looked taken aback when I showed him. He took my computer and put on the new palmrest/keyboard/mousepad (it’s all one unit, or something of that nature), but didn’t have one of the two parts for the bottomcase. He told me that I would get a call when the part was in. I got that call a few days later, and a couple days after that (exam week, don’t ask) I brought the computer in, and gave it to a fellow named Evan, who sassed me quite a bit when I informed him that Apple would be covering the cost of the repair (about $903 plus tax, in case anyone cares. Another fun fact, I paid $850 for the computer). I was miffed, but I went along with it.
So I picked my computer up Sunday, fresh new bottom and everything, took it over to the Pru, sat down with a coffee from the bakery, and booted it up. It seemed fine, I was satisfied, so I folded it up, put it in its case, and slipped it in my backpack. When I opened it up later that evening, the screen wouldn’t light up. I could see faint silhouettes of things on the screen when I got right up close, but it was basically unusable. Suddenly the nature of that bottomcase crack came into my mind. I set up an appointment for the next day with the Apple Store, and I intended to get a replacement. I was not going to continue playing Pin the Tail on the Faulty Hardware (or craftsmanship, but that would be mean to suggest, wouldn’t it?).
I brought it in and Pat saw me. He ran it downstairs and came back up claiming it was just a loose cable. I wasn’t backing down. His associate had just confirmed with me that it’s physically impossible to crack the bottomcase while the topcase is being put on, and so that means (in my Occam’s Razor mind) that it must have been a) dropped or b) compressed. If this went wrong the very evening after Doug shook my hand and told me nothing was wrong with this computer, who was to say that something else wouldn’t go wrong later? I mean, the reason I bought my MacBook was because my last laptop died a horrific death after it fell off a table. I couldn’t save that computer’s data because I didn’t act quickly enough to work with it after it broke, so if something else was going to happen, I didn’t want to have to start over again. I told him that I wanted a replacement, something I KNEW would be all set, and here’s why Pat offended me:
1. Telling me that my problem was not as bad as that of other repairs that had to be done.
Well, gee, that’s comforting. MacBooks break worse than mine? Good thing those computers aren’t mine… oh wait! YOU DROPPED MY COMPUTER. My rationale is that I don’t want my computer to end up as one of those “worse cases.”
2. Telling me that, if had a PC, the repair would have taken much longer.
Yes, but I don’t have a PC. I have a Mac. Further, I’m less offended by how long it took than by the fact that something keeps going wrong. If I knew I would be without my computer for a total of five days, I’d be fine, as long as I knew it would work when I got it back.
3. Telling me how he was trying to do what was best for the company, as well as the customer.
I would hope that a happy customer would be enough for a company, but let’s be realistic, a company needs to make money. Also being realistic, the company covered repairs that cost more than my computer did and then some. The frugal decision would be to stop fixing this out-of-date relic (overstatement, I know, but the Apple Store views a 2007 model like it came from the pyramids) and put something newer and more reliable in my hands. Heck, I’d have to go out and re-buy all of my adapters and everything since the new MacBooks have all new slots, so it’s not like you wouldn’t make some money.
4. Telling me how many MacBooks he’s had, and indicating how dysfunctional one of them was.
Why is this going to comfort me? Knowing that computers will break, even if you’re the guy who gets paid to fix them? I know computers will break. I’m not concerned with it being invincible forever, but I want to know that, when I go home, this repair is done. I want to know that I won’t have to drag myself back so they can finish their job. I want to know that this is taken care of before I leave, and I had “known” that the other two times, and both times I was let down. Let this repair be done so that the next thing that goes wrong can be an act of God or my fault instead of yours.
5. Trying to buy me off with an iPod case.
This was the absolute, MOST offensive thing that Pat did, and it’s when I finally backed down. I realized that there was no way that this man was going to make things right when he said, and I quote,
“I want to make things right. I want to make sure that the company has done what it can, and that you are happy when you leave here, so I want to get you whatever will make this right. We can provide some service, or maybe get you a case for your iPod–“
I cut him off there. I didn’t want to hear how he wanted to make my computer issues (aka, the Appletastrophe) “right” by giving me a case for my iPod. Sure, I’d love a new case for my iPod, but that’s not the issue. Sure, I could have milked them for a gift card, or some accessory. I’m sure there’s something in that store that I would have liked, but by no means were they willing to give me what would make me happy, what would make things right: peace of mind.
I wanted the peace of mind to know that, if I went home and set this computer on my desk, nothing was going to go wrong. I may have overreacted on how likely it was/wasn’t that this computer would break again, as they had it working there in the store, but the same thing happened last time. I had their word that things would be fine, and yet it had a cracked bottom or a malfunctioning screen. I wanted to start fresh. My computer and I are damaged goods; once my MacBook crossed that threshold, it wasn’t the same anymore, and that’s what I wanted. I wanted something that would work the way it was meant to without some risk of something else happening. I don’t expect perfection, but I do expect to be able to trust the company and product I have invested nearly $1000 in.
The entire affair lasted about an hour, and this was by no means the entire engagement, but consider this the Greatest Hits of the Apple Store.
Apple…
Might be trendy, but man do I hate going to the Apple Store.
I went yesterday to get this crack fixed (again, this is an ongoing defect with this kind of Macbook) and they replaced the palm rest, keyboard, and mouse pad for free. Unfortunately, they didn’t put any of it on right, so the space bar and the clicker are weird, and there’s a big gap between the palm rest and the bottom of the computer. Epic fail, because now I have to do my lab report tonight (Friday) because I’ll be without a computer from tomorrow (Saturday) through Sunday. I went computerless last night, which was why there was no update.
In what is becoming more tragic news the more I listen, I got a copy of the full U2 album, No Line on the Horizon. I’ll give a review of that later. “Get on Your Boots” hasn’t come on yet, so this album might be in the negative score by the time I rant about it.
Over and out.
Audiophilia 